Here and Now

Thanks to the suggestion of a good friend I am branching out from my MySpace blog and carving out a little place in cyberspace to call my own. Some will say it's about time and others will probably be surprised to find I have enough to say to fill a blog but after my daily pot of coffee I become quite the chatterbox.

These days we have been struggling with fertility issues. This is something that I will bring up time and time again because it is ongoing and at times takes over all things. It has become my full time job and I find that the more the doctors say relax and don't think about it, the more I do in fact thing about it. It's hard not to think about something when that something required surgery, requires I take a pill twice a day, requires many trips to doctors and specialists and an ungodly amount of charting and monitoring - with all that it does tend to weigh a little heavy on ones mind. But I am trying to take it day by day. I have found that I've become angrier, now I've always dealt with my Italian girl temper but this isn't the same. This is anger so deep inside I can't shake it, I pass judgement on people who get to have babies. Not all people but the ones I've determined are unfit for such a privilege. I have been trying to just live in each moment and some days I'm much more successful in this then others.

I do have a lot to focus on. I'm trying to get back to writing at least a little something everyday. I mean afterall a novel won't write itself. In time I plan on posting some of my writings here, I think it will help me get over my fear of people reading my things. A lot of my writings are very personal and I fear letting people see so much of myself but I will make a solid effort to share with you all. I have been doing a lot of scrapbooking lately, trying to tell the everyday stories and to get the people who matter so much into my books. When we do eventually get blessed with our child I want that child to be able to look through these books and find out who his/her parents are and were. It's therapeutic and gives me a creative outlet. I just love to get into my scrap room and get up to my elbows in paints and chalk and paper and then add some of the thousands of photos I've taken and tell a story. It is also another place for me to get some writing in so it's a two for one deal.

My current addiction in addition to the coffe is the Olympics. I've been putting it on first thing in the morning and watching until late at night. I've no doubt watched more of the Olympics this time around then probably any of the previous Olympics combined and I'm enjoying every minute of it. I laugh at myself though because the more I watch I've become a couch judge and I sit here going "ooh that's a deduction" "oh that wasn't a very good dive" meanwhile I can't do any of the things these athletes are doing. I have been enjoying watching Michael Phelps swim, I find it so enchanting to be sitting here watching history being made.

In addition to talking about scrapbooking and writing I'll spend a lot of time talking about things I've cooked, recipes I've tried and restaurants I've been to. I think of myself as a bit of a foodie and cooking and baking is a passion. I will also spend a lot of time talking about the children we do have - 3 cats: Holden, Banky and Alyssa and 1 dog: Hooper. They are spoiled and loved and comical so I share stories about them often. Plus I'm open to suggestions, thoughts, questions I'm not easily offended so always feel free to tell me what's on your mind. I want this to be an interactive spot which is as fun to read as it is to write.

More soon...